May 16, 2013

Kya aapne kabhi alcohol taste kiya hai??


The tittle of this post might sound bizarre to many. Or many others might find it too plain to be put up as a tittle. however, if you are looking for a gyaan on alcohol, please do not read below...Below is the plight of a girl who is subjected to such question in one of the most awkward first meetings of girls lives.
In India we have an interesting system of "Arranged Marriages". I am sure you know about what it is, but somehow if you have missed it - it is like a dating network set up by parents of eligible boys and girls where through whom they hope to find a match. Only with a slight twist! In this dating exercise you are only allowed ONCE or maybe twice (if you are lucky maybe more)...
In these very interesting dating/meeting system, you get to meet a complete stranger (shortlisted on the basis of profile made by family) for an hour or two, where you are required to form an opinion if you can live rest of your life with this person or not (at this point, please proceed only if you find the system a bit crazy and over-hyped).
And it was one such incident that makes me write this. I guess we all will agree that meeting anyone for the first time is awkward. (It always reminds me of the old Bollywood movie where red rose used to be the symbol to identify your date.) From what I wear, to what I choose to eat is under scrutiny. How I sit, walk, talk, take the call or reject the call, speak to waiter, ask for excuse, comb my hair...is going to be decision making points. And on top of it... the question!! I am not saying it’s bad, because of course we do have to talk if we need to decide about spending my life. But there are certain questions that make me wonder why? And that's where our tittle comes from...so here are the winners from the list of questions which can be funny, crazy, maddening, offensive and most importantly useless and rude...
1. And the award goes to - "Kya aapne kabhi alcohol taste kiya hai?? Have you ever tasted alcohol?" Are you serious??? Does my tasting matter? Ask me if I am drunkard or a teetotaller, but taste!! If I ever had one sip of something, somewhere, sometime in my life, are you going to crucify me? For heaven’s sake!! Answer is Yes...I have had my share of medication and several medications have alcohol...please go ahead and label me as drunkard.
2. Since we cannot go on and on about the first, the runner up is..."Kya aap Hindi nahi jaanti hai? Don’t you know hindi?" Dhakkan!! "nahi Ji, jaanti hun but hindi me gaaliyan thodi buri lagti hai to English se kaam chala leti hun" Get a reality check man...if I didn’t know hindi I wouldn’t answer your question that you asked in hindi. and it’s my mother lounge, do your homework, read my profile before you meet me...
3. Losing only by a few points is..."aapke ladke dost hain? Do you have friends who are males?" My answer is "NO" I have been roaming around with a board in my neck that please don’t talk to me, my future husband won’t like it. I'd say this didn’t win because; it might matter to someone genuinely. But why it is here, is the way the question has been put up...please learn some manners. It was MY life...I have lived it my way without your presence so far, so please be a bit soft and compassionate before you ask about my family, friends and life.
*. and the special award goes to...."aap night me kya karti hai? What do you do at night?" Sorry I have no expressions for it...it should be categorized as offensive, rude and demeaning...but of course, my lifestyle does matter...but please please, learn to be polite. My comments from the above can be copy pasted here... If you need to know where I hangout, or go out on weekends, what are my likes and dislikes and what are my hobbies please ask me that. I agree you are a bit nervous...I am too...but please think twice before you ask.
I have said it all...I have stated what has made me laugh, shriek and get frustrated over a period now. I do not mean to mock the idea of arrange marriage or I am not strictly against meeting someone for the first time and answering his questions. I am against the idea of such bizarre questions which don’t mean a thing to me and are more importantly rude. I want to tell you, all you guys there, friends, family and others please ask the questions which really matter. What time I get up to what I drink and where I hangout is anyway going to change with time and place and your entry in my life. You can ask that in subsequent meetings.
And all my lovely ladies...please do not continue putting up with these things. Please politely refuse... if he cannot respect you, he does not deserve you. If god willing, you would find someone better and someone who loves you as you are...

7 comments:

You surely want to leave a comment. Don't you? Go ahead! please :)