Was it conditional love?

Tumko dekha to ye khayal aaya... She hummed along with the song on FM as she dressed. She thought how true the lyrics were for her life.  She had met Ankit when he had lost hope to live and slowly bit by bit her unconditional love had helped him gain his aim in life and a good job. What had he done for her?

A text beeped. "Baby sorry can't make it right now, urgent work!"

She threw her phone in anger. "How could he not say no for a date to her?"

Unconditional love... Or was it conditional love?

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Also Linking it to Write tribe's 100 words on Saturday - 11 and UBC

The greatest love...

He prided himself with his skill to open strangest locks. Trained by local goons, his skill was now an asset to the country.

So when he discovered Sally’s little box with a cute heart shape lock, he set out to his task. 

He tried to open it for hours. She at last found him, stepped in front and used her little hairpin instead of the key and it opened. Letters from her parents stored inside.

She snapped the box shut saying “the greatest love of all is of parents, and it is so strong that no one can unlock it”.

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Linking it to Write Tribe's 100 words on Saturday

Have you found Shades of Life on Facebook yet? Please check it out here. 

Please take out time to read more about the featured blogger for the month of March "Aditi Kaushiva" here.

Also, check out the post by a non-blogger who penned down her feeling.

Guests are always welcomed at Shades of Life. Drop me a line at sugandha118@gmail.com and I would love to share your thoughts here.

Lost earrings, lost love

I looked for my phone to check the time, but it wasn’t there. I left it on my desk while rushing for the meeting.

It must be exactly same time. There was no day in my life when I didn’t miss him. But today was special. This hour was special.

Many years had passed but the memory etched in my mind made it feel like yesterday, yet the longing felt like eternity.

I kicked off my heels as soon as I sat in his car, tied my hair and headed to take off my earrings before they began to irritate me. “So much to look pretty.” But it had paid off; he had been admiring me throughout the brunch. He had also said it in many words.

As I started to take my earrings off, I realized that the engine wasn’t running yet. I turned to him to see a look in his eyes that I didn’t recognize. He looked distant, somewhat lost. I stopped and asked him what happened.

What he replied rings in my ears every hour even after all these years. “Krisha, I can’t see you anymore. I am going to states for studies and dad wants me to settle there. Please don’t try to stay in touch.”

It seemed that he had stabbed me. His parents were forcing him to go to states ever since we finished college but I knew he won’t leave me and go. After all he knew I couldn’t leave the peripheries of our small town and he had already proposed me.

There could have been a logical explanation to it but I was too furious to listen. I picked my heels in my hand and got out of the car in half fury, half despair. I took an auto back home and locked myself in the room. It had taken him one sentence to end a relationship of five years. I chose to hate him. However a lonely note that was left in my inbox with apology and explanation stood to his defense each time. I continued to try to make that feeble attempt to hate him but continued to miss him and love him.

Even now, sitting in the meeting, my hands touched my ears as I remembered that I had left one of my earrings in his car in fury all those years back.

A loud noise bought me back to presence. My colleague filled in for my inquisitive looks. “It’s someone’s birthday in Ramit’s department. Some new joined.” I nodded and diverted my attention to the laptop at which I pretended to stare when I day-dreamed.

It was lunch when we ended the meeting. Despite my troubles with concentrating, I was happy that I was busy today. Being free meant getting emotional once again. Thanking God for keeping me busy on this day, I returned to my desk.

A piece of cake was kept next to my phone on my desk. I headed to pick it up, knowing office boy must have kept it. But as I reached out to the plate, I saw that earring placed next to the plate.

I looked up to find those same distant looks.

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

This post is piece of fiction.

Have you found Shades of Life on Facebook yet? Please check it out here. 

Please take out time to read more about the featured blogger for the month of March "Aditi Kaushiva" here.

Also, check out the post by a non-blogger who penned down her feeling.

Guests are always welcomed at Shades of Life. Drop me a line at sugandha118@gmail.com and I would love to share your thoughts here.

The happily ever after?

"Finally the prince found her, they got married and they lived happily ever after" concluded the fairy tale. All of them.

While I wondered, is there a happily ever after? Neither Romeo nor Ranjha ever had the happily ever after. Mumtaz may have been given a marble palace to rest but that was only after she died. Details of her love and relationship with the emperor are still questioned.

I have had this fancy to be Cinderella's shoes or Snow white's mirror to find out what happened after they got married.

In my world, as I wait for my happily ever after, almost everyone I meet tells me about shaadi ke side effects.

I have observed that most relationships are mix of sweet and tangy experiences that couples experience together. There are fights, quarrels, make ups, etc. in all relationships.

I don't have much to talk about Happily ever after since I do not really believe in it. What is your take on it? Do you believe that one can have a fairy tale happily ever after?

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This post is written for the Project 365 program at We Post Daily aimed at posting at least once a day, based on the prompts provided.  The prompt for today is "And they lived Happily ever after".

Have you found Shades of Life on Facebook yet? Please check it out here. 

Please take out time to read more about the featured blogger for the month of February "Kathy Combs" here.

Also, check out the post by a non-blogger who penned down her feeling.

Guests are always welcomed at Shades of Life. Drop me a line at sugandha118@gmail.com and I would love to share your thoughts here. 

Thus, the secret remained

“The only solace being, the secret remained.” She ended the story and turned to her side to sleep.

  

However, sleep was distant from Shekhar’s eyes. His mind played and re-played the story he just heard.

Did his wife really told her a story about an office colleague or she just narrated his best kept secret? he wondered, tossing and turning in his bed.

A college affair was something he had not bothered to mention in front of his wife ever. He thought he had put it behind him and moved on with life. He had not wished, except a few fantasy thoughts, for her to come back. Of course, she had been a catch back then, making him an unelected leader of the gang. And why wouldn’t it? He was dating not only the topper but also the most eligible bachelorette in the college. However, one bitter fight and seven years passed by without sparing a thought to what could have happened, until the day she met him again.

Shekhar wouldn’t call his marriage a love-less one exactly. He had been able to find out charm and attraction in the arranged marriage, which four years and a child later had come to a comfortable sit back. Love was no longer a priority. However, seeing Ananya after so long made him feel its absence.

It wasn’t that she was still as hot as ever. Age had not really been fair to her. But when was it her beauty that drew Shekhar towards her at the first place? Her wit and her charm, that had compelling effect on many back in college was untouched by all the unfairness life had thrown at her.

Shekhar worked with his father in-law as VP of the company, while his wife, software engineer by profession showed no interest in stock broking and continued to work for a software firm. With father in-law’s age they were running out of hands at senior level and decided to hire someone from outside. Trusting his father’s decision, Shekhar had left the hiring to him and got to meet Ananya only when he handed her the offer letter. He looked at her and felt nothing. None of those moments haunted him and he prided himself with the feeling that he could keep his past behind and be professional.

But it wasn’t as simple as it looked. Personalities like Ananya’s grow on you. As time passed by, he started getting drawn to her magnetic personality. He didn’t know anything about those seven years of her life except that she worked on Wall Street and built herself a highly credible CV and that she had a daughter.

If Ananya felt something, she never showed. She referred to him as a good friend from college and kept their relationship highly professional. Shekhar on the other hand, just wanted to talk it out with her once and he thought he would get better control over his emotions.

Travelling together for a new client meeting, Shekhar got the opportunity that wasn’t presented to him back home. He was mindful of her feelings but cleared what had gone wrong. An early widow, a successful yet lonely woman, strong and independent yet vulnerable, the more Shekhar got to know about her from where he left her, more guilt enveloped him. He was soon admitting things that he had so far restrained himself from thinking.

Love blossomed, not infiltrated by cheating on her spouse but deep meaning care and admiration flourished. Shekhar looked out for means and ways to support her help her and provide her company. Although, he was fair to his family, an un-settling thought wrestled in Shekhar’s mind.

Office was turned upside down. Some confidential information was leaked. Everyone was a suspect. Shekhar hired external agency to find out the culprit.

After eight days of search, the external agents came up with one name and presented it to the board. Ananya was fired. Shekhar was asked to supervise the handover. All files were transferred by office boys. All mails were blocked. Only an envelope was delivered personally.

It contained a single line. “If you weren’t comfortable, you could have told me. I would have resigned.”

He had lost his love, once again. He had lost his satisfaction for his job. He had lost the peace with his family. The only solace being, the secret remained.

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Linking it to Tell a tale weekends on my blog.

Have you found Shades of Life on Facebook yet? Please check it out here. 

Please take out time to read more about the featured blogger for the month of February "Kathy Combs" here.

Also, check out the post by a non-blogger who penned down her feeling.

Guests are always welcomed at Shades of Life. Drop me a line at sugandha118@gmail.com and I would love to share your thoughts here.

When a non-blogger blogs - A stranger and the feelings

Remember that Shades of Life welcomed all non-bloggers to share their feelings? Here we are with our first guest.

Jyoti Bhavsar my colleague and friend - decided to share her poem with  me for all of us.

I'd say Jyoti is one who take life heads-on as it comes. She is bright and bubbly. Recently she decided to give away her Mumbaikar badge and joined us Delhiites. She wants to write her feelings with her pen-name Angel

Here is A Stranger and the feelings by an Angel.

He talked about the distance,

He maintained between the two people,

But i wish he could have felt the,

Pure feelings and her amazing soul …..

He always took everything practically,

Because he seems to be a practial fool,

Or he is scarded of love, and just ignores

With fear of losing life goal….

The world is full of love, but….

Heart knocks only some doors,

By mistake if it knocks the wrong,

Then just love the moment and move on…

I am happy that he is genuine and honest,

I want him to be happy and great as always,

His smile is birhgt to make someone smile,

May god bless him and his beautiful life.

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Did you just loved the concept? Know someone who would love to write once in a while? Guests are always welcomed at Shades of Life. Drop me a line at sugandha118@gmail.com and I would love to share your thoughts here. You can also ping me on facebook or leave a comment.

Have you found Shades of Life on Facebook yet? Please check it out here. 

Please take out time to read more about the featured blogger for the month of February "Kathy Combs" here.

My heart is available for accommodation.*

*Conditions apply – It’s a guarded space where you are welcomed only if you ensure that you will not litter dirty words, stain it with wrong deeds or demolish by cheating. When you meet other occupants you will understand that you will remain the main occupant. Also, I’ll remain the main occupant of your heart too.

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55 Fiction for Write Tribe. Based on the prompt - Conditions apply.

My tattoo got me my best friend

I had my tattoo on an impulse. I was skeptical and was just “Checking out” designs when I suddenly came across the one. It seemed to fit in so perfectly with my thoughts and story of my life that I decided to go for it instantly.

A little girl, fear reflecting in her eyes, leaving her home to achieve the best of the world at a very early stage was now being etched on my back. Half-way through the tattoo, my tattoo artist and I got talking.

He told me about sketches and inspirations, various websites to designs and client suggestion. I then asked him if he designed the tattoo I was getting. He replied that he sketched it but he had seen that tattoo before, if only he could remember where. He then went on telling about all he remembers that it was on someone’s leg and was much smaller. He explained how it was one of his favorite tattoo designs in his entire career.

His idea about getting it on leg got me thinking. It sounded nice and exciting. However, I was pretty happy with my tattoo too. But damn! I was nervous.

My parents knew nothing about my new tattoo. I was scared to break the news. One evening I showed it to my cousin, and she agreed that the hell will break loose if anyone in the family got to know about it. My father was somewhat cool, but I wondered how my mother would react. She was the strict one and I had remained somewhat aloof ever since I had been a teen.

Months passed by and I became comfortable with the ink on my skin until one day when I had to wear a sari.

My mother was around and she was standing there to help me wrap those six yards in a presentable way. It was the moment of no choice. I mumbled, “Mom, I have to show you something.” And slowly turned my back towards her and pulled my top up to reveal the tattoo.

I stayed like that for a minute for her to absorb what could be a shocking revelation and then slowly turned to face the brunt. But I was amazed. There she stood, with amusing look on her face and a slight smile.

Few moments later, she pulled her sari up and reveled a tattoo, same design, but much smaller than mine.

Later, my mother showed me the original sketch and told the story of the tattoo and her life. My mother and I have been best friends since then.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

UBC Day 31 - Clarity - 30

It was two a.m. but Priya could still not sleep. She sat there, looking at her daughter and hoped that her next step was going to be right one.

She sat there, browsing on her laptop, idling, as thoughts reeled in her mind. She opened her diary and read the notes from last few months.

In an attempt to empty some space in her head, she scribbled in her diary. She wrote about all that she had just been through, about the confusion and confession of her true feelings.

At the end of it, she had resolved. She opened a new email and created a draft.

Dear Nitin,

It is no secret that I love you. I have loved you ever since I have known you and I still do. It is true that you were my first love and I might never be able to love anyone as much as I love you.

It is right that you can make a wonderful father. Seeing you with Navya warms my heart. I have wanted it for long, and now that it can happen it gives me a pleasure to think of her secured future.

Like I have told you, I have forgiven you. And I say this, with all my heart. Yes it was bad of you to have left me and go, but like you said life has taught you a lesson. I agree that you have changed. I can see it in your eyes.

It is also right that I have dreamt about our marriage for more than three years now. And today, when you proposed, I can see that my dreams can eventually come true.

But there is one thing you made me realize today. I am over you. I didn’t realize it when, but now if I think of all the above, I have lost the appetite. I no longer crave to be there with you, marry you, or love you.

And Yes, I love Sushant. Maybe not as much as I loved you, but I do. And what is more important is he loves me. Yes I might not get the world I dreamt of, but I will be happy. I am taking a leap of faith and I hope everything will be alright.

Regarding Navya, she will remain your daughter. When you picked her in your arms, I could see that you really love her, and I won’t try to stop her from meeting you. You are welcome to meet her if you want.

I will be moving now. I wish you good luck and don’t worry, you will do well.

Love,

Priya

She sent the mail without proofing, ensuring that she did so before her heart changed.

And then, she checked her messages, searched for Sushant’s flight details, booked herself on the same flight and forwarded the confirmation to Sushant.

She leaned to kiss her daughter before going to bed when her phone beeped. The message read, 

“Will you marry me?

Love, Sushant :)” 

UBC Day 31 - Who? - 29

Priya couldn’t believe her ears. Every day in last one and a half years, she had thought about this day. She had thought of hundreds ways of acceptance and hundreds of denial. She had dreamt that she will kiss him the moment he said so, and thought of slapping him hard. But now that this happened, she was numb.

She looked up to his face. He was busy caressing Navya. He looked just the way she had dreamt of. Handsome, caring, smiling and loving. However, he wasn’t really so and Priya now knew that painfully.

He looked past him, at the man who was busy reading, or was pretending so. He noticed Priya’s gaze and looked up from his book and gave her a warm smile.

There was the person who was there with her without failure. His love was known to everyone than her. She had taken him for granted.

Had she hurt him unknowingly? Maybe she did.

She sat there, comparing the two men in her life.

Nitin, whom she loved crazily. He was right. She hadn’t moved on. She was still as stuck as she was on day one. He was now a changed man. He was the father of her princess. If not her, Navya deserved to get her father’s love. And what he had just said, he was really serious this time. He wanted to marry her, to give her all that she had dreamt off.

Sushant, who was more than a friend. He, who loved her madly. He, who had been there with her without any expectations, he didn’t expect anything from her. He had told her nothing else except that he loved her. He had done so without expecting any reply. He had done so without providing any justification. By telling her so, he was gambling. The relationship could be a disaster. Maybe there wasn’t any future with him. He was due to leave in three days and Priya didn’t know when will she next see him.

Maybe she needed some time, maybe she needed more clarity. She asked Nitin to excuse her and give her more time and left from the café.

On her way out, she paused and asked Sushant if he was okay with giving her some time alone. He offered to drop her home, but she denied and moved out. She hailed a passing cab and gave him the address.

UBC Day 30 - Confrontation - 28

Sushant sat next to Priya, ensuring that she got through the meeting without a single tear.

Nitin sat opposite them, looking at his daughter and playing with her. After a while, Nitin requested if Sushant would leave them alone for a while.

Priya looked at him expectantly. Sushant nodded reassuringly and left.

Nitin pulled his seat forward. He held her hand and gave it a light squeeze. Priya couldn’t bear the touch. She slowly pulled his hands backward.

Nitin slowly began, “Priya, Navya is very cute. She looks exactly like what I thought her to be. From the day I have known that I have a daughter, I have always imagined her to look as pretty as you and indeed she is.”

Priya could see that his eyes were moist. She had prayed so much that Nitin could see their daughter and today seeing him as he kissed and held her, Priya couldn’t control her emotions.

“Nitin, I waited for this moment for so long. When you left me and went without telling, I wanted to end my life. But it was for her, I survived.”

As if waiting for this clue, he replied “I am sorry. I told you the same the other day. I know it has been really difficult for you and you can’t forgive me so easily but all I want to tell you is that please think about it.”

“I have forgiven you already. You needn’t apologize now.” Priya said, not really believing in her words.

“Then accept me back. I know you haven’t moved on. I have been a jerk but I have learnt my lesson. I am now settled here, as you always wanted. I am not doing great, since my business is a start-up but being here, close to you and my daughter is good enough.” Nitin continued, caressing Navya’s back who was now sleeping peacefully in her pram.

“Why should I? And what is the guarantee that you won’t disappear again? Most importantly, who told you that I haven’t moved on?” Priya argued.

Nitin shifted in his seat and thought for a second before replying. Then he began. “Firstly Priya, you should because you love me as much as I do. Second, you should because we have a daughter now. Knowing you, nothing will make you happier than seeing Navya grow up in a complete family rather than with her father’s absence. I won’t leave you because I have learnt my lesson and now looking at this angel face, I realize I was a fool. Being a father is a wonderful feeling, I don’t want to miss it. And most importantly how do I know that you haven’t moved on…”

He paused, waiting for Priya to register and then said, “Because you haven’t said yes to Sushant. We all know Sushant has loved you all along and you both have been best of friends. Still you haven’t said yes to his proposal, is my assurance that you haven’t.”

He waited for a reaction and when he didn’t get any, he leaned ahead and said “Marry me Priya.”

UBC Day 29 - Confusion - 27

Sushant couldn’t understand what Priya meant. She had just been through a lot and he didn’t want to bank upon her emotional vent out. He gave her a quick hug and left.

It took Priya a better part of the hour to comprehend what she had just been through. Just yesterday, when she had resolved to not think about Nitin anymore, he had now come and stood in front of her once again. He knew about Navya and he wanted her whereabouts. On the other hand Sushant had been more than a friend and displayed his love openly.

A million questions hovered in her head. “Was she using Sushant’s love? Was Nitin really concerned and had really changed? Was she being too strict with Nitin by not letting him to explain? Will it be wrong to Sushant if she gave a second chance to Nitin? What did her last words to Sushant mean? Was she really in love with Sushant or she was just giving in to vulnerable situation? Will it be justified for Sushnt to bear the brunt of her past relationship? What was it that Sushant looking, did he know what future could be if they were together? Why was Deepti supporting Nitin?”

She was in middle of her thoughts when Deepti came in. She was in tears. She wanted to apologize and realized the mistake she had done by agreeing to help Nitin.

Seeing her friend in distress made Priya guilty. Maybe she overreacted in front of Nitin. Maybe she became too vulnerable or too rigid to allow him to explain.

She called up Sushant for advice. He suggested that she must meet him and give a chance to explain. Upon her insistence, he agreed to come along with her to meet and arrange a meeting.

No amount of preparation could enable Priya to face Nitin calmly. Just his name reflected all the painful memories of the times she spent alone.

She gathered the courage to read the emails that he had sent. Contrary to the first that she had read couple of nights ago, the other two were full of remorse and guilt. One of the emails read, “How do I explain to you the happiness I get when I think that you actually gave birth to our child. It tells me more than your loving nature; it tells me that you still love me to search for me in our daughter.”

How wrong he was. He did not know that ever since she looked at her daughter for the second time she resolved to not search for her father’s face. She infact never thought of him and imagined him to return.

Another part of email mentioned that he was planning to begin a project in India and will be shifting soon, he mentioned about his broken engagement.

The more she read, the stronger her resolve became. Priya knew without meeting Nitin, he no longer had a space in her life.

But what about Sushant? Did he?