American Dream - Love, life and seeking happiness - Chapter 5

All those words that Jane had formed in her mind had absolutely disappeared. Seeing Shaun along with Shagird had saddened her mood, but ever since he had left, she felt more distressed and wished that Shaun stayed.

They ate the dinner in silence. Even Shagird seemed to affected by her gloominess. However, as they sipped the Indian tea that Shagird made after dinner she prepared to talk.

“Shagird, I want to speak to you.” Her voice was weak and uncertain.

“I want to talk to you too.” came a short reply in an equally weak voice.

It disturbed her. He was never this uncertain. It made her forget her own uncertainty and turn towards him in full attention.

He started in a low voice, which was very much unlike him. “I have decided to move back to my country…” He looked in her eyes for the first time in entire evening. She could feel tears in her eyes and turned away her gaze.

He continued, “…my father has been unwell. Although he had once decided to never contact me again, he has lately been asking my mother about me. She called me a week ago. I have been doing some research lately. Medical career in my country is becoming better; there might be better possibilities there…”

Jane could feel her world spinning. All day long she had thought about him, and now he said he was going. She didn’t trust her voice, so she nodded.

It must be something about her posture that made Shagird stop mid-sentence and look at her. He turned her towards him and maybe out of impulse, he hugged her. She could no longer stop herself. A very unsteady line of tears formed on her cheeks as they rolled down.

Composing herself, without being able to look up, she asked, “You said something yesterday…do you remember?”

It must be seconds, but seemed like hours before he replied, “Yes I do. I remember telling you what I have been trying to deny myself ever since I have decided to go”

“Are you sure about going? I mean you could take a break and come back after a short while.” She couldn’t believe herself saying this. But this man had just confirmed his feelings and yet wanted to leave and go; she had to try to dissuade him, even if it meant breaking boundaries for a while.

The firm determined Shagird was back. With a nod and a murmur he confirmed that he knew what he was doing.

Next question, “When are you…” she had to stop mid-sentence as she felt his lips on hers. Wiping her tears and kissing her, he asked her something really unexpected. “I am going in five weeks. Will you want to take a break and come along with me?”

Jane backed away. She loved him, but she hadn’t thought anything beyond it. She needed time to think and the lingering feeling of his kiss had clouded her mind. She requested him for some time to think and he bid her good night.